Pole Position Quilt

Early Christmas gift, anyone?  Carolina Patchwork

One more for Texas

Yesterday, I wrote about how my states of Texas and Tennessee make me proud sometimes.  Today, Texas continues the theme with one of the worst examples of political media I’ve ever seen.

John Cornyn(not so much of a cowboy in real life) was so manly in that piece that I wanted to go to California and marry him.  BTW, despite being a nice little country/western number with a Johnny Cash-esqe baritone singer, this piece was completely or partially written by a city boy.  How else do you explain the use of the Ebonics slang, “mo’”, in place of the word, “more”, just so they could rhyme at approximately the 2:05 mark?   Cowboys don’t say “mo’”.

Oh man, I don’t even know where to start….

[nauseating hattip: BoingBoing & this guy/girl]

From the land of the unlikely…..

….perhaps these “victims” wives should testify.   Let’s see then how much these sorcerers shrunk their itty-bitty bits:

“It’s real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny,” said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time the magic penis shrinkers and/or missing manhood faeries have ravaged this poor nation.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs.

This guy got off lucky…..

From the "What the Hell!!!!!" department….

Phil Knight gives Oregon so much money that I’d bet they wear clear vinyl uniforms with matching horse bits if he made them. I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

-edit: Yes, I know, my Tigers lost. My brother, the UT grad, has been civil….barely.

Muslims declare wussy-jihad against Doritos

OK, not really…but this is fairly ridiculous. How bout just not eating the Doritos instead of bitching about it having 0.0001mg of ethyl alcohol? I’m sure it’s a conspiracy to hold down the Muslim man, but c’mon, just hold your tongue and not eat Doritos.

“Besides Muslims, there are a lot of teetotal people who would not like to consume alcohol in any form. As far as possible we try and lobby for halal symbols on popular products like Kellogg’s cereals.

C’mon kid…..

Hattip: 2spare
(check out the rest of this set….PRICELESS!!!!!)
….it’s all about subtlety.

YOU AREN’T THAT PRETTY

6 out of 10 at most. What else would you expect from USF students?

When he came out, Williams says the man came over to her seat and yelled a profanity at her. Williams admits she yelled a profanity back at him but was puzzled when she says the flight crew only questioned her.

“I think they were just discriminating against because we were young decent-looking girls. I mean, nobody else on the plane looked like us except us,” she said. “[The flight attendants] were like older ladies. We were younger. Who knows, they could have been just jealous of us because we were younger.”

GUANTANAMO NOW!!!!!!!!!

Dumbest. Kid. Ever.

I know when I was 18 i thought about paying $260 to some douchebags to off my parents. Geez, what a little prick. They had adopted him and raised him as their own.

Jacob A. Jett, 18, allegedly gave the money and three handguns to two men as part of the plot to kill Richard and Robyn Parnell, according to prosecutors.

“He thought they were too strict,” and wanted to inherit money, Jackson County prosecutor Jim Kanatzar said.

Jett and a fellow student accused of introducing him to the would-be hit men were charged with second-degree attempted murder and armed criminal action.