By the way….

Houston still sucks

Torn…

Almost all of my earliest memories as a child are sports related.  Not surprising considering how fanatical my family is about sports.  I remember being in Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium at the age of 3 watching the USFL’s Memphis Showboats battle the Denver Gold.  I remember sitting in the upper student section of the Mid-South Coliseum watching Andre Turner(aka, Lil’ General), Keith Lee and the rest of the early 1980’s Memphis State Tigers run roughshod over the Metro Conference to the Final Four.  And yes, I remember sitting in my mom’s condo sitting what seemed like inches from the screen watching Carl Lewis and Mary Lou Retton make history.  Every four years the anticipation for the “World’s Greatest Sporting Event” is unbearable within me.  Even as I became an adult, my childlike love never waned.  Atlanta ‘96, Sydney ‘00, and Athens ‘04….I probably averaged 10 hours a day in front of the TV, watching anything that was put in front of me.  Even sports that you usually don’t even see every 4 years….e.g., Modern Pentathlon, Team Handball, Field Hockey, etc.

This year, however, my excitement just isn’t there.  Well, let me be honest.  It is there, however, it’s a guilty anticipation.  I still anticipate the excitement and the thrill of competition. I still anticipate watching the elite perform at the height of their skills and I still anticipate those just happy to be there give everything they have just compete.  Those stories are still there and will still intrigue me.  However, how can I support an Olympic Games awarded to a country that violently evicts their own citizens to put on said Games.  How can I be enthusiastic about an event that means the imprisonment of those who spread the word of freedom at their own peril?  How can I watch the opening ceremonies in the beautiful Bird’s Nest knowing that even on the outskirts of Beijing itself, there are forced Labor Camps?

How?

My first hurricane watch…

Houston is now under a Hurricane Watch for Tropical Storm Edouard.  I’m sure this’ll be fun.

Note to douchebags in Houston….

This is never a good look. 4 out of 5 Houstonian douche bags see this as awesome.

Eight Long Years

Eight very long years ago today, George W Bush stood atop a stage in Philadelphia and gave his acceptance speech to the Republican National Convention. It was a speech about ending partisan gridlock, about bringing honor back to the White House while upholding the laws of the land. Hmmm, how did that work out? Barack Obama’s speechwriter might just hit on some of the same topics. Of course, he might deliver the new 15 Commandments while fornicating with two rich white girls while praying to Allah. Who knows?

Back to the point at hand. This speech will always be remembered as the “We Will” speech. Well, Eight years later, let’s see if GWB and Cheney Have?

But instead of seizing this moment, the Clinton-Gore administration has squandered it. We have seen a steady erosion of American power and an unsteady exercise of American influence. Our military is low on parts, pay and morale. If called on by the commander-in-chief today, two entire divisions of the Army would have to report, “Not ready for duty, sir.”

See, we miss understood what GWB was trying to say. Instead of ending the erosion of American power or steadying the exercise of American influence, he wanted to combine the two problems by steadily eroding the power and influence of America.

Grade: A+

This generation — this generation was given the gift of the best education in American history, yet we do not share that gift with everyone. Seven of 10 fourth graders in our highest poverty schools cannot read a simple children’s book. And still this administration continues on the same old path, the same old programs, while millions are trapped in schools where violence is common and learning is rare.

2001 was a changing point for America and not for the reasons you were thinking. 2001 was the year that the Republican party ceased to be the party of fiscal responsibility and State’s rights and started supporting huge Federal Mandates that spend billions but were fundamentally flawed from the very beginning.

Grade: D+ (At least he didn’t didn’t torture reading teachers for bad performance.)

America has a strong economy and a surplus. We have the public resources and the public will, even the bipartisan opportunities to strengthen Social Security and repair Medicare. But this administration, during eight years of increasing need, did nothing.

Strong Economy gone? Check.

Surplus gone? Check.

Social Security and Medicare unchanged? Check.

3 for 3. That’s a great day at the plate for the Bush Administration.

Grade: Is there anything lower than an F? They get an L.

Our generation has a chance to reclaim some essential values, to show we have grown up before we grow old. But when the moment for leadership came, this administration did not teach our children, it disillusioned them.

Stupid quote to begin with, however, in light of Bush’s treatment of this nation over the past 8 years, blow jobs in the Oval Office aren’t so bad.

Grade: S for Silly, Stupid, and Spooning.(Post fellatio)

Overall, it’s pretty obvious that GWB and Chaney haven’t and probably never intended to what they promised the American people.  It’s our fault (well, not my fault) that we elected this guy and then re-elected him in 2004.  We are the baffoons, we are the one’s who “is not learning”, we are the one’s responsible for the last 8 years.  Not Bush, not Cheney, not Enron, not Katrina, not the Iraq War, not Al-Qaeda, not Congress, not the recession. Bush and Cheney have not led, but will we?

Cmon Lindsay, think before you talk

Lindsay Lohan decided to go after the chief of the LAPD, William Bratton, after his comments yesteray about the city’s lessening papparazzi problems because “Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay”. Lohan said:

“Police chiefs shouldn’t get involved in everyone else’s business when it comes to their personal life. It’s inappropriate,”

You’re right Lindsay, however, you do have a history of doing some pretty illegal stuff…such as riding the white horse in a public bathroom.  Come on Lindsay, you already came close to one felony.  A felony that I  would’ve spent more than a day in jail for.  Don’t antagonize those who can throw your ass in jail even if they say something stupid.

[note: Lindsay did go gay.]

[2nd note: I wrote this whole idiotic post just to post this picture again.]

Pole Position Quilt

Early Christmas gift, anyone?  Carolina Patchwork

Apparently, old white men don’t like dildoes.

Looks like the Texas dildo ban that was overturned by a federal court in February might be heard by the Supreme Court.  First of all, I’ve lived in Texas for little over 5 years and been to many, many sex shops, and I must say that the dildo ban is not taking hold.  Secondly, shouldn’t the state and federal government have better things to do than regulate what my girlfriend does once I fall asleep at night?

Hot Chick of the Day- Zooey Deschanel

“Are you gonna catch a Comets game?”

Hey everyone, I’m writing you today from the beautiful city of Houston, TX….and by beautiful, I mean disturbingly grotesque in almost every way. I’m not a big fan of places where I can see the air.  Maybe it’s just me.  I don’t know.  I should be fair.  In the 5 days I’ve been here, Houston has looked a lot like this:

So maybe a venture out into the city will improve my view of Houston…or maybe not.  I’ll let you know.

By the way, I’ve heard all of these horror cities about their traffic, mostly from their own residents trying to brag about how much their city is awesomely horrible.  Well, it’s not really that bad so sit the F up.

[edit: The title quote comes from my brother.  Isn't he a funny bastard?]